Hello, wonderful readers! Today, I’m diving into one of the more unexpected chapters of my life—a chapter that begins with cancer, weaves through chemo, and somehow ends up with me in the midst of early menopause, trying to make sense of what exactly happened to my body. Spoiler alert: I didn’t even realize I was in menopause until I’d survived 18 months of treatment and was left standing in the aftermath, blinking at a whole new reality.
How Cancer Treatment Masked Menopause
When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, it was like being dropped into survival mode. Everything became about getting through the next treatment, the next day, the next moment. My treatment involved neo-adjuvant chemotherapy, multiple surgeries, and radiation—the full works. And during that time, my body was put through the wringer in ways that I was too focused on survival to fully process. There was hair loss, nausea, exhaustion, and let’s not forget the side effects that made me feel like I was living in a perpetual sauna.
It turns out, I was also going through early menopause. But between the chemo and radiation, I didn’t have the bandwidth to tell the difference. Hot flashes? They felt like just another side effect, blending right in with the sweats and flushes that chemo threw my way. I was simply trying to stay alive, holding on for my boys, and if menopause had decided to join the party, well, I didn’t exactly have an RSVP list.
Post-Treatment Realization
It wasn’t until I finished the 18 months of life-saving treatment that the reality of menopause hit me. Suddenly, there was a stillness, a strange sense of “What now?” After months of focusing on fighting for my life, I was left with the quiet realization that my body had changed dramatically. The hot flashes were still there, but now they didn’t come with the label of chemo side effects. The sleep disturbances, mood swings, and bone-deep exhaustion were harder to ignore, no longer hidden beneath the noise of treatment.
But perhaps the biggest revelation came in the form of anxiety. After everything I’d been through, I was left feeling like I was constantly on edge—heart pounding, mind racing. A well-meaning counselor gently suggested that I was likely experiencing anxiety. I remember blinking at her, completely incredulous. “Really? You think?” I replied, unable to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. “I just thought I was Type A and highly efficient.”
It turns out, trying to stay alive for my boys had taken its toll. Anxiety had become my default mode, and the idea of adding more medication to my already lengthy regimen didn’t sit well with me. So, I did what I knew best—I started researching, and that’s when I stumbled upon meditation. The idea of finding calm without a prescription was too appealing to pass up, and that simple quest to manage anxiety without medication eventually led me to yoga.
Yoga: My Path Back to Balance
Yoga didn’t come into my life as a graceful calling. It arrived as a lifeline—a way to bring my body and mind back into some kind of balance after months of fighting just to stay alive. It was the start of reconnecting with a body I’d felt disconnected from for far too long.
Breathwork (Pranayama): One of the first things I learned was Nadi Shodhana—alternate nostril breathing. In a world that had felt chaotic and overwhelming, this simple practice brought a sense of control. It didn’t matter if the hot flashes were from menopause or remnants of chemo—what mattered was that I had a way to breathe through them, to find my way back to myself, one breath at a time.
Restorative Yoga Poses: Physically, my body was exhausted. Restorative yoga became my haven—gentle movements that allowed me to honor what my body had been through, rather than push it further. Legs Up the Wall was a nightly ritual, and Child’s Pose reminded me that sometimes, surrender is the strongest thing you can do. I needed rest, not rigor, and yoga gave me permission to take that rest without guilt.
Mantra Meditation: Emotionally, I was still on that rollercoaster—sometimes feeling deep gratitude, other times overwhelmed by the smallest things. Meditation gave me a new tool, and my mantra became “I am enough.” It was a simple statement, but after months of battling cancer and then facing menopause, it was exactly what I needed: a reminder that, in all my imperfection and struggle, I was still enough.
Tips for Embracing the Transition (Especially When You Didn’t See It Coming)
So, if you find yourself thrown into menopause when you least expect it—whether by chemo, life, or some other curveball—here are a few things that helped me find some grace (and humor) in the chaos:
- Acknowledge What’s Happening: I spent a long time disconnected from my body, ignoring the signals it was sending me. One of the most powerful things I did was simply acknowledge, “Hey, I’m going through something big here.” Body scan meditations helped me reconnect—taking the time to feel each part of my body, without judgment, and recognizing what I needed.
- Breathe Like Your Life Depends on It (Because Sometimes It Feels Like It Does): 4-7-8 breathing became a lifeline when anxiety and hot flashes threatened to take over. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7, exhale for 8. It’s amazing how something as simple as breathing can pull you back from the edge.
- Rest Without Shame: Restorative yoga taught me that rest is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. Poses like Legs Up the Wall allowed me to let go of the day’s tension, and reminded me that after everything my body had been through, it deserved my care, not my criticism.
- Laugh at the Absurdity: Anxiety, menopause, hot flashes—it’s a lot. But finding humor in the absurdity of it all became my saving grace. Like the time I snapped at my well-meaning counselor because, yes, anxiety is kind of inevitable when you’re fighting cancer. Or the countless moments I woke up drenched in sweat and just had to laugh because, honestly, what else can you do?
- Embrace the Imperfection: I learned a lot about balance through Tree Pose—sometimes I could hold steady, and other times I wobbled or fell. And that’s okay. Embracing the imperfection, the fact that balance isn’t a destination but an ongoing practice, made all the difference. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about showing up, wobble and all.
Finding Grace, Even in the Unexpected
I wish I could say that early menopause has been a walk in the park, but the truth is, it’s been more like a stumble through unfamiliar terrain. The cancer treatment masked the symptoms, and by the time I realized what was happening, I was already in the thick of it. But through it all—through the anxiety, the sleepless nights, the endless waves of heat—I found moments of grace. I learned to reconnect with my body, to be patient with myself, and to find humor even in the most ridiculous moments.
Cancer forced me into survival mode, and menopause added another layer to that journey. But here I am, navigating it all, one breath, one yoga pose, one laugh at a time. And if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that there is beauty in surviving, in learning to thrive, and in embracing every imperfect part of who we are.
So here’s to the next chapter—whatever it may bring. Here’s to acknowledging the struggle, finding humor where we can, and celebrating the fact that we’re still here, still enough, and still growing.
The Balanced Equation 