Tag: #Ritual

The Four Dharma Principles for Peace and Clarity

In 2016, I found myself lying on my bathroom floor, utterly spent from yet another round of chemo. I was somewhere between exhaustion and sheer determination. I started listening to Yoga and the Dark Night of the Soul by Simon Haas on Audible. As I have already mentioned, I was searching for anxiety antidotes. That book opened the door to new possibilities. A new way of thinking and over time, a new way of being. Soon enough, I had The Book of Dharma lined up. It was set to be my next dose of inspiration.

As the YogiCFO, I aim to balance Dharma and Data. I thought now is a good time to introduce Dharma.

I was drawn to yoga when I heard it described as the “Science of the Mind.” This wasn’t about blind faith or dogma. It was about trying things out and seeing what worked. I kept only what resonated with me. That same spirit of experimentation drew me to dharma. In ancient Indian texts, dharma was the set of principles used to guide sovereigns in ruling wisely. And, after facing cancer, I came to realize I was my own “sovereign” in the truest sense. Cancer made one thing clear: every choice I made came with consequences, and only I could walk that journey. I wanted my decisions to be rooted in wisdom, not fear. I realised life was short, and prior to this, I was not really fulfilling my potential.

For me, dharma has been less of a rulebook and more of a compass, as Simon Haas describes it. It’s a way to navigate life with purpose by holding close four principles: Truth, Purity, Non-Violence, and Discipline. I’m not here to tell anyone else how to live. I can say that these principles have offered me a lifeline when I needed one. Through the storms of cancer treatment and chronic pain, facing the haunting fears of recurrence, and learning to find peace in solitude, dharma has been a gentle guide back to myself. Here’s how each principle has shown up for me.

Truth: The Art of Being Honest with Myself

Truth sounds straightforward, right? Just be honest. But after a cancer diagnosis, honesty takes on a new level. I convinced myself for a while that I was okay, that I was moving forward without fear. But if I was honest, I was living with a constant, nagging worry about recurrence. Truth, I learned, isn’t about pretending to be fearless or always having it together—it’s about admitting when I don’t.

These days, Truth means being real about my fears and not burying them under a mask of “I’m fine.” Sometimes, that’s admitting I’m scared or that I’m not okay. By acknowledging what’s really going on, I can acknowledge it, notice how it makes me feel and let it go. Truth, as it turns out, has been a source of freedom for me. It allows space for the parts of myself that need compassion. This is much better than denial.

Purity: Clearing Out the Clutter to Find Peace

Purity isn’t about some impossible level of perfection; it’s about clarity. For me, this principle became vital as I learned to manage chronic pain. Pain is exhausting—mentally, emotionally, physically. If I let my mind fill up with resentment, it only worsens the situation. Adding frustration is like fueling an already intense fire.

So, Purity for me is about letting go of that mental clutter and simplifying. I make time each day to clear my thoughts through meditation or writing. I let go of the “extras” that don’t serve me. Even physically, I’ve pared down my space to include only things that bring some peace or joy. Creating this clarity doesn’t make the pain go away. However, it allows me to be present with it. Instead of getting lost in the fog of frustration, I can face it directly. When I keep things clear, I feel a bit more in control. I feel this way even when the pain is out of my hands.

Non-Violence: Treating Myself with Kindness (and Forgiving the Not-So-Great Days)

Non-Violence, or Ahimsa, has been a real journey. It’s about compassion, both toward others and myself. This hasn’t come easily for me, especially when it comes to loneliness. Loneliness can make even the most grounded person feel off-kilter. But I’ve found that when I practice Non-Violence toward myself, I can transform loneliness into solitude. Solitude becomes a place where I can grow and find meaning instead of just feeling isolated.

Some days, that means I let myself rest rather than pushing through. Other days, it’s letting myself feel what I’m feeling without layering on guilt or criticism. And yes, some days it’s as simple as reaching out to a friend. I don’t have to sit with the feeling that I need to do it all alone. Non-Violence reminds me that I deserve kindness, even on the hardest days. This is one of the most powerful lessons I’ve found in dharma.

Discipline: Showing Up for Myself, No Matter What

Discipline used to feel rigid, all about self-control and willpower. But these days, discipline feels softer, like a commitment to myself. After cancer, I needed to rebuild my routines, to show up in ways that nurtured rather than depleted me. Discipline became my way of finding stability in the chaos.

Keeping a bedtime routine, doing my yoga, or sticking to my morning tea ritual are acts of discipline. They remind me I’m worth the effort. The small choices matter. Each one builds on the other. They create a foundation I can rely on even when life throws a curveball. Discipline isn’t about being harsh with myself. It’s about staying consistent with the things that help me feel grounded and whole. Over time, discipline enables freedom.

Living by Dharma as a Gentle Guide

As Haas explains, Dharma isn’t about rules. It’s more of a framework, a gentle guide that brings clarity and helps me focus on what really matters. I’m not here to preach. I won’t tell anyone else what to do. These four principles have offered me something I desperately needed: a way to live with intention. They help me stay present, choose peace over chaos, and show myself some compassion in the process.

The real beauty of dharma is that it doesn’t demand perfection. Some days I’ll nail it, and other days? Well, we all have those days. I realign with Truth, Purity, Non-Violence, and Discipline. Then I feel like I’m steering my life more purposefully. Life won’t ever be perfectly smooth. However, it feels a little lighter. It feels a little clearer. Life becomes much more manageable when I have these principles as my compass.

Finding Your Own Path

As Simon Haas explains, the power of dharma truly shines when all four principles—Truth, Purity, Non-Violence, and Discipline—work together, supporting each other to create a balanced and purposeful life. Each principle reinforces the others, guiding us to make choices with integrity, clarity, compassion, and commitment. If you’re curious about dharma, try engaging with each principle in small, manageable ways, observing how they resonate and complement each other in daily life. Or, you could read the book! The Book Of Dharma

You don’t need to dive in all at once; just allow these principles to be gentle reminders, guiding you towards choices that feel aligned. And if you feel like sharing, I’d love to hear how these ideas shape your journey. What practices or perspectives help you navigate your own path? Drop a comment below—I’d love to learn from your experiences, too. After all, we’re all finding our way, one choice at a time.

The Power of Rituals—Bringing Structure to Spirituality

Hello, dear readers! Today, we’re diving into a topic that has truly transformed my life: rituals. Now, I know what you might be thinking—rituals? Aren’t those reserved for ceremonies or something mystical? Well, yes and no. Rituals, in the way I practice them, are about creating small moments of intention in the day-to-day—a way to bring both structure and spirituality into this wonderfully chaotic journey we call life.

Why Rituals Matter

For most of my adult life, I ran on routines. Wake up, get the kids ready, work, cook dinner, sleep, rinse, repeat. The routines kept life organized and predictable, and, if I’m honest, I often felt like I was on autopilot. Looking back, it’s as if life happened, and I hardly even noticed because I was so busy with the day-to-day. But once the nest was empty, those routines became redundant and meaningless. I needed more than structure— connection, purpose, and calm. And that’s when I realized rituals could bring something new: balance between my rational mind and my spiritual heart.

Rituals are more than just habits—they are sacred moments woven into our daily lives, filled with purpose and intention. They invite us to slow down, to indeed be present, and to transform the ordinary into something beautiful. For someone like me, who often gets lost in the details and the constant hum of analysis, rituals have become a lifeline—offering stability amidst chaos while nurturing the deeper, more tender parts of myself. They remind me that life isn’t just about productivity; it’s about connection, purpose, and finding grace in even the most minor actions.

Morning Rituals: Setting the Tone for the Day

Something about the morning makes it the perfect time to bring a sense of intention into your day. I’ll admit, there was a time when my mornings consisted of hitting snooze three times before frantically scrambling to start the day. But now, I’ve transformed those early hours into a sacred time, and it’s made all the difference.

1. Morning Journaling
One of the most grounding rituals I’ve adopted is morning journaling. It doesn’t have to be anything profound—I simply sit down with a cup of tea (more on that later) and write whatever comes to mind. Some days, it’s a gratitude list. Other days, it’s a brain dump of all the worries and to-dos circling in my head. Occasionally, it’s just a description of the weather outside.

For my analytical side, journaling is a way to organize my thoughts, put those racing ideas on paper, and see them from a distance. For the spiritual side, it’s a way to connect with my inner self, to ask, “What do I need today?” and “How can I be kind to myself?” It’s a practice that brings me back to the present, where everything is a little more manageable.

2. Meditation and Breathwork
After journaling, I take a few minutes to meditate. I’m not talking about hours in the lotus position—just ten to twenty minutes of focused breathing or sitting quietly with my thoughts. Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing) is my go-to. It helps calm my mind, balancing my brain’s rational and creative sides and bringing a sense of equilibrium before the day’s demands begin.

Meditation allows me to feel the connection between my mind and body, creating a moment of stillness in what is often a whirlwind. For someone who leans into analytical thinking, it’s not about “finding zen”—it’s about creating mental space, giving my mind the rest it needs to tackle the day with clarity and focus.

3. Setting Intentions
Before officially starting the day, I take a moment to set an intention. It might be as simple as “I will be patient today” or “I will stay present.” Setting an intention makes me feel like I have some control over navigating the day, even if I can’t control what happens. For my rational side, it’s like programming a mantra that guides my actions. For the spiritual side, it’s a reminder that I get to choose how I show up, no matter what the world throws at me.

Evening Rituals: Closing the Day with Calm

Just as the morning sets the tone, the evening offers a time to reflect and release. I used to end my days exhausted, scrolling endlessly through my phone, hoping that would help me unwind. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. I was left overstimulated, with a racing mind that refused to let me sleep. That’s when I knew I needed to end the day differently—with rituals that would help me close the chapter with intention.

The Ultimate Wind-Down: Tea, Gratitude, and Unplugging

When it comes to protecting my sleep, I don’t mess around. Post-cancer, sleep became my top priority. After reading Matthew Walker’s “Why We Sleep,” I realized how crucial it is and permitted myself to treat sleep as a sacred gift. My go-to? Herbal leaf tea.

Step 1: Tea as the Ultimate Ritual

My sleep ritual begins with the kettle. Boiling water isn’t just part of the process anymore—it’s my signal to wrap up the day. I turn off the lights, light a candle, and let the quiet settle in. The soft hum of the kettle heating up is like a gentle reminder to unplug from the day’s chaos.

As the water boils, I mentally run through my gratitude list. No need for a journal—just a quiet reflection. I think about three things that went well. Some days, it’s big stuff like a supportive friend. On other days, I’m just grateful I didn’t spill the tea leaves all over the kitchen. It’s my time to appreciate that, even in the chaos, there’s always something to hold onto.

Selecting my tea feels almost ceremonial. I choose my herbal blend, like greeting an old friend—delicate, calming, exactly what I need. I watch the leaves fall softly into the pot, transforming the simple act of making tea into something meditative. When the 80-degree water (because, yes, we’re fancy now) pours over the leaves, I watch them swirl and release their calming aromas.

Step 2: Gratitude and Unplugging, Tea in Hand

As the tea steeps, I’ve already begun unplugging. No screens, no doomscrolling. This is my moment to disconnect. I might grab a book, sit by the window, or close my eyes and breathe. With its rising steam, the tea becomes the centrepiece of my unwinding ritual. It’s not about rushing—it’s about letting the tea do its thing while I take a moment to unwind.

By now, my gratitude list is fully formed. I’ve acknowledged the small wins of the day, like that perfect cup of coffee or the fleeting sunshine. It’s a simple reflection but enough to shift my mood from stressed to serene.

Step 3: Sipping into Serenity

When the tea is ready, that first sip is like a reward for making it through the day. The warmth in my hands and the soothing flavours tell my body, “You’ve done enough.” The steam is like a soft hug, signalling to my brain that the work is over and it’s time to rest.

This ritual—tea, gratitude, and unplugging—has become my nightly grounding practice. By the time I finish my cup, I’m already halfway asleep. It’s not just about the tea; it’s about carving out space for myself, acknowledging the good, and transitioning into rest mode.

Rituals as Bridges Between Rationality and Spirituality

Rituals bridge the gap between our need for structure and our desire for connection. They bring predictability to the day, which soothes the rational mind. They also invite mindfulness and reflection, nurturing the spiritual side. Rituals remind us that we’re more than just “doers”—we are beings capable of deep connection with ourselves and the world around us.

For analytical thinkers, rituals provide a sense of control—structuring the day to reduce stress and bring clarity. But they also invite surrender, presence, and a moment to simply be. This balance is why rituals are essential to my life and why I encourage you to try them.

Create Your Own Rituals

Here are a few simple ideas to help you create rituals that bring structure and spirituality into your day:

  • Morning Gratitude: Before getting out of bed, think of one thing you’re grateful for. Start the day on a positive note and notice the shift in perspective.
  • Mindful Breaks: Set a timer during the day to take a breath, stretch, or check in with yourself. A simple way to bring mindfulness into a busy schedule.
  • Evening Reflection: Before bed, reflect on the best part of your day. Let it be the last thought before sleep, fulfilling the day.

Moon Cycles: Create rituals that align with the moon’s phases. For the new moon, set fresh intentions and be grateful for the lessons coming for your highest self. During the full moon, practice reflection and prepare to release anything that no longer serves you as the moon is emptying.

Seasonal Shifts: Welcome each new season with a ritual. For example, in the winter, light candles, journal what you wish to nurture within yourself and begin a new creative course online or locally. In the spring, plant something, be it seeds or intentions, and watch them grow.

Birthday Rituals: Your birthday is the perfect time for a yearly ritual. Set
intentions for the coming year, reflect on the past year’s lessons, and perhaps even create a self-care ritual to celebrate yourself.

Rituals don’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. They just have to be intentional. In that intention, they create balance—a way to connect the rational with the spiritual, the structure with the flow, and the mind with the heart.

Here’s to making space for rituals that calm the mind, nurture the soul, and bring a little sacredness to our daily routines.